Secrets Naples

Napolitans laugh and joke with these Jokes

Naples: The City of Smiles and Self-Irony

Naples is the city of a thousand shades, where art, culture, and food delight the senses, but there is something even more precious and contagious: Neapolitan humor and its irony. It's a powerful weapon, capable of making people laugh and reflect, a sort of universal language that all Neapolitans understand and appreciate.
In a world often dark and chaotic, Neapolitan humor shines like a beacon of hope and joy. It's a vital force that turns challenges into opportunities, difficult moments into occasions to smile and laugh together. And, in the end, it's this indomitable spirit that makes Naples a unique city, a place where beauty joins laughter in a warm and welcoming embrace.
No description of Neapolitan humor would be complete without mentioning the legendary jokes circulating through the city streets. These stories, often based on stereotypes and exaggerated situations, highlight the affable and strongly self-ironic character of Neapolitans, a unique and special characteristic.

Discover the Best Neapolitan Jokes!

The Best Jokes about Naples and Neapolitans

- A Neapolitan in traffic, someone crashes into his car. He gets out all angry: "Who's that idiot that gave you the license?". And the other: "Who told you I have a license?"

- Naples. A robber gets on the bus and shouts: "Stop, this is a robbery!". A lady gets up and says: "Oh my God, what a scare: I thought it was the ticket inspector!"

- Naples, metro construction sites open for 30 years. An old man approaches the workers and asks: "Excuse me, you've been digging for thirty years. But this metro, are you building it or looking for it?".

- A little boy doesn't speak until 3 years old then suddenly says: "Grandpa". The next day the grandfather dies. A year later the little one speaks again and says: "Aunt" and the next day the aunt dies. Then he stops speaking, a year later he says: "Dad" and the next day he dies... the postman.

- In an airplane there are a Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American. The Frenchman puts his hand out of the window and says: "Here we are in France, why am I touching the Eiffel Tower?".
Then the Englishman puts his hand out and says: "Here we are in England because I can touch the clock tower."
Then it's the Neapolitan's turn who puts his hand out the window and says: "Here we are in Naples because they stole my watch!"

- In the hospital in Naples. The patient to the doctor: "Doctor, is the appendectomy operation dangerous?" "No... Only one in a thousand something happens." "Doctor, what number are we at?"

- The wife comes home after the fifteenth time she tries to get her license and her husband asks her mockingly: "So... did they screw you over again?" And she: "In three... but at least they gave me the license!"

- In Naples, the mayor wants to encourage the use of seat belts, so he decides to give a prize of 1000 euros to the first driver who is seen every morning by the traffic police with the seat belt fastened. The first day the prize goes to a driver leaving the port. The police stop him and congratulate him and ask him what he plans to do with the money won. The driver says: "Well, I think I'll go to driving school to get my license..."
The policeman looks at him in amazement: – What do you mean get a license? The wife sitting next to him: "Don't listen to him, when he's drunk he always jokes!" The astonished policeman: – What? He drives the car drunk?
On the back seat a man who was sleeping wakes up, sees the scene, and shouts: "I knew we wouldn't go far with the stolen car!"

- Naples, there is a protest by many people shouting in chorus: "we want work". At that moment a Milanese passes by, head of a company, and decides to please one of them. He approaches one and says: "Good morning, I am here to offer you a job …" the Neapolitan turns around and says to him: "But with all these people you choose to give it to me."

- Chinese scientists have invented a police robot. To verify its operation, they tested it around the world:
In China, in Beijing, in 10 minutes he caught 10 thieves.
In America, in Chicago, in 5 minutes he caught 8 thieves.
In Italy, in Naples, in just one minute the robot got stolen!

- In Naples, a traffic cop stops a man on a scooter with his wife and four children and says to him: – Hey, buddy, have some patience, you're not wearing a helmet, but at least try to use a condom!

- Naples, the traffic cop stops a boy on a scooter – Ah good ... no helmet, no insurance, no plate. What do we do? – We put it against the wall! because it's also without a stand!

- A Milanese concert pianist and a Neapolitan meet in a restaurant. The two know each other and can't stand each other. The Milanese pianist, a classic snob, approaches the Neapolitan's table and says: – Last night I held a concert at La Scala, as soon as I finished playing the last note, there was a general ovation, flowers were thrown on the stage, applause, standing ovation. But what pleased me most is that the mayor of Milan came on stage, shook my hand, and said: – Congratulations, you moved us all! Even the Madonnina cried!
The Neapolitan replies: – I too held a concert last night in the Vatican. As soon as I finished playing the last note, the usual ovation, flower throwing, applause, standing ovation. But what amazed me is that, at a certain point, a door opened at the back of the hall and Jesus came in, climbed onto the stage, shook my hand, and said: "Congratulations! You're really good at playing! Not like that Milanese jerk who made my mom cry!"

- A Neapolitan in America is having breakfast (coffee, croissant, bread, butter, and jam). An American, chewing his inevitable gum, sits next to him. The Neapolitan ignores him, but the American says to him: "Do you eat the whole bread?" The Neapolitan answers, grumpily: "Yeah." The American makes a nice balloon with the gum: "We don't. We only eat the crumb. We collect the crust in a container, recycle it, turn it into croissants, and sell it in Naples.". The Neapolitan remains silent.
The American insists: “Do you put jam on the bread?” The Neapolitan: “Yeah.” The American, turning the gum between his teeth and laughing, says: “We don't, at breakfast, we eat fresh fruit, we put all the peels and scraps in a container, recycle them, make jam, and sell it in Naples.”
The Neapolitan then asks: “Do you Americans have sex?” and the American: “Of course!”, with a big smile. Neapolitan: “And what do you do with used condoms?” – “We throw them away, of course.” "Not us" concludes the Neapolitan. “In Naples, we put them in a container, recycle them, turn them into chewing gum, and sell them in America.”

Two Milanese men go to Naples. One says to the other: "Listen, let's tease some southerners a bit!". They see an old man sitting on a bench reading the newspaper.
They approach, and one says: "Excuse me sir, to go where we need to go, where do we need to go?". The old man looks at them, adjusts his glasses on his forehead and replies: "Guys, if you came here to mess around, you've already arrived, but if you want to go to hell, you still have to walk!"

Walking through Naples, Carmela is fascinated by the window of a jewelry store and, looking at her husband, says: "In fifty years you've never bought me anything!" and the husband replies: "Why, are you putting yourself up for sale?"

A tourist gets on a tram in Naples and inserts the ticket into the punch machine. The machine goes TLIC-TLAC. The driver turns abruptly and shouts: "HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NOISE?"

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